I'm really into asian looking animals
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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