i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
sex in a hospital.. check
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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