He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
