Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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