I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
