You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think I am morally bankrupt
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
