I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
