3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
