Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
