i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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