that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize