College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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