Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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