I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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