She said her name was "party"
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
