Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
