Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
