thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
