Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
