susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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