I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
