well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
