I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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