Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
