she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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