you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
