No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
