they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
