Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
