i permit you to call me
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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