Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
