arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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