In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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