We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
