Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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