I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
