The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
