So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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