He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
