Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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