I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
