It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
