Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
