It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
