Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
honey bunches of taint.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
