4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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