I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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