Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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