Tell her she can't have a vagina
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
