All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
