Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
