Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
this will be a night to untag.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
