I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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