I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
