Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
