Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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