My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Never underestimate the power of titties
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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