I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
