Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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