Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
