Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
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