you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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