I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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