is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
