it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
