Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Boobs speak an international language.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
