Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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