he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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